It occurred to me today, as I read countless resolutions from people all over the internet... Myspace, Blogs... Cafemom... that I don't have anything I really want to make myself work on.. there is nothing bothering me.. nothing I feel like I need to "fix." Now...I am DEFINATELY not "perfect"... I know this, and that's not what I am saying. But for the first time in my life... I accept me for WHO I AM. I love me, I love my life and my friends and family... so for the first new years I can remember, I am NOT going to resolve to fix anything!
Resolutions... its such a nice thought... "I will promise myself to ______ and it will happen.. no matter how many times I have tried and failed to do it before." Hrmph. Not for me.. not anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it NEVER works for some people. Some people are totally motivated by something like a resolution... and I can see why. Its therapeutic, really... because its your chance to say what is wrong (admitting it is half the battle!) and coming up with a way to fix it.
What I WILL do is continue to live my life as I do now... I will continue to love my husband with my whole heart, and appreciate him as much as I can. I will continue to tell him, every second of the day that I can, how amazing he is. How smart he is, and what an amazing provider he is. I will continue to do my best to give my kids everything I can... love, knowledge, fun, creativity, and empathy. I will continue to do the best work I can do to further my future, as well as my families future. I will continue to love and accept my home, my car, my clothes, my body... as MINE.. and I will NOT compare myself to anyone else. I will NOT play the "keeping up with the Jones" game and I will be PROUD and happy for what we have.
Maybe this means I DO have a resolution... and that is to simply to keep doing what I am doing, because it finally feels right. I am doing it for ME.. not for anyone else. These are scary times but we are OK and we will continue to be OK as long as we have eachother... and after taking a giant step back and looking at my life as a whole, I feel like for the first time I can say... this is good. I have everything I need, I love my chubby thighs, I love our house, I love my husband, I love my old Durango, I don't need to "compete" with anyone... and I don'tgive a flying monkeys butt what anyone else has to say about it! THIS is what I have been looking for all these years... its so beautiful to finally have it. I'm not perfect... but I am happy. I truly hope everyone has had a wonderful holiday season, and has some time to stop and reflect on what we have.. instead of what we don't. Love to you all
Happy new years everyone!